You’re insightful
You look at me and see me for all that I am
You are delightful
It’s rare to find a person like you
I wish that I could kiss away your scars
Make them fade away and take back your pain
I want to bathe with you under the light of a thousand stars
And hope that someday you might feel the same
I love you, and all that you are.
I always want to talk to you
After certain acts
But really what I ought to do
Is face the facts
Apathy towards me
Is plain and clear
Couldn’t you just hate me or like me, or ANYTHING but
Just apathy? It’s what I fear
Sap through the leaves of these ever-lasting trees
My love for you floats on the soft cool breeze
It floats far, it floats near, it dances through the trees
And brings me down upon my bruised knees
I’m down here for you, my heart cut in two
One piece for me, and another for you
Mine infused red, but yours growing blue
It’s oxygen-starved, with its pallid pale hue
How did I get here, and what do I fear?
My knees hurt, my posture slumps and my eyes fill with tears
I know you’ll never love me back, it’s futile being here
These are the truths that taunt me, their veracity grows clear
But still I kneel down, and here I will stay
My heart yearns and my stomach churns for yet another day
She’s foolish and lives in a fantasy land, I hear everyone say
But perhaps one day you’ll look at me and my devotion will hold sway
Are you okay tonight, or are you filled with fright?
Was it me? Now I see, that I’ve added to your plight
I told you I could be intense, it seems that forewarning was right
So I’ll hold myself back from flooding you with love, I’ll do this with all of my might
You’re so apathetic
Towards me
I feel pathetic
Eventually you’ll message
And be so apologetic
Please don’t apologise I’ll say
Just refrain
And I’ll smile
And you’ll nod
And I won’t tell you
That I’ve been going slowly insane
Empty black hole
Gaping hole for a soul
Sucks you in, crushes you down
Don’t make a noise, don’t make a sound
Empty black hole
Empty black hole
Gaping hole for a soul
Can’t breathe, can’t scream
Can’t live, can’t dream
Empty black hole
Empty black hole
Gaping hole for a soul
Can’t think, all is bleak
I must die, I’m a freak
Empty black hole
Let’s go down the white road you said
And down we went together
We walked and walked in the beautiful snow
Until one day you left me alone
It had never felt as cold as that day
Everything turned hostile and grey
I’m still there you know, shivering and alone
And you live your life separately, to me unknown
I miss you
Is it strange that I miss you, you who knew me only briefly several years ago?
Perhaps it is, but it’s true and my feelings are the only things I know to be real in this life
Everyone disappears, everything changes, the only constant is that
I miss you
There is no-one in the world I would like to be near right now, except for you
I’m not sure how you feel about this, a meeting of just us two
I want to say more, but I’ll keep this clean
It’s all about the dopamine
I’d like a hit in many senses of the word
Would you do this for me, would my request be heard?
I know what you could bring to the table
The thought of it makes me unstable
Back to the beginning, back to the primitive
No thoughts, just sensations to play with
And dopamine, one hit, then another
I’d definitely need some time to recover
Then back to the real world
My head in a swirl
Reality must always be found again
But we could play for a moment at least, my dopamine friend
Over-familiarity;
A term I used clinically
But lately I am developing some clarity
That it relates to… me
And how I relate to others
I am driven somehow
To reach out
and out
and out
To people who I don’t deeply know now
Why is this?
We knew each other in the past
And I wished that our knowing would last
Extend to the present
And the future
Perhaps eternity
So I continue this farce
But at what cost?
I keep you tethered
Though our relationship is weathered
As is my dignity
And your patience
And the illusion of a friendship
That would naturally be severed
If I let it die a natural death.
