What will become of me
When you are gone?
Will it be different to the last time?
How long do we have left?
Are our days numbered?
I wonder about this all the time
No-one can say
You tell me “live for each day”
Your wisdom divine
So when you do go
I’ll try not to follow
My memory of you enshrined
How do two people who connect so well
Become so estranged and break the spell
Back and forth, to and fro
“I love you, wait, I don’t know”
Body fuck then mind fuck, that’s how it would go
They needed each other in a time that was bleak
But now he says nothing, refuses to speak
Though she tries and tries, to no avail
I guess she’ll retreat back into her shell
Lucky him.
So fragile and thin
It’s buried within
I’ll try to explain it
But where to begin
I first lost my mind
When I was only a child
It scared me, prepared me
For a life of denial
Denial of what?
Stomach tied up in knots
As I live full of fear
Of eventual brain rot
See I was never quite there
And maybe life is unfair
Still I’ll try, though I cry
At my mind I still tear
Where have you gone?
Your light shone
So bright
Is it no longer on?
I know you’ve been feeling strange of late
In the pit of your stomach, an ache
Crawling under you skin at night
Do you really just want a break?
From us, just tell me
I’ll understand
Just help me
To know what you’ve planned
As the last time we spoke
You said you’d be fine
“Unless I die”
What’s going on in your mind?
Your stomach would ache
And I’d hold you near
You’d been using a lot
That was quite clear
Then you never came back
Just a void, full of black
Where you used to be
Just you and me
Where have you gone?
Are you okay?
Will I see you again?
I love you, my friend
Fear can turn to anger
I’ve seen this many times
I know you only long to be free
For your former life, you pine
I’m so sorry that I did this to you
I know it caused you pain
Emotionally and physically
And the trauma will remain
It hurt me too, to go against your will
The first time it shocked me, it haunts me still
“I promise you it’s for the best”, in time we might see
You are steadfast like a tree
So after the storm, does the experience feel the same?
When the calm has returned and you can smile again?
I hope you can see it through a different lens
As you begin to heal and mend
Capacity was lost when you struggled the most
I know it’s unfair, it was hell
But remember this, precious neighbour
You’ll have a story full of hope and better days, to tell
You are amazing.
