Souls entwined by similar minds

“Trees Forest” by Sebastian Unrau/ CC0 1.0

Tag: grief

  • I Want You to Stay

    What if you die
    And I don’t know
    Would I know by the stars in the sky
    Or would I just start to feel low

    What if I don’t see you again
    Before that moment hits
    This thought plagues me, my friend
    Your soul, I already miss

    I love you
    I really love you
    Will my love live on
    When I’m gone?

    Wasn’t this intense
    When we used to date
    Now we’re just friends
    Or acquaintances sealed by fate

    What is this madness?
    I hear you ask
    And I’m filled with sadness
    In which I bask

    What will become of our friendship?
    Will it be left in ruins?
    Still I open my heart and shit
    Just to try and get through it

    Too honest for my own good
    But what about yours?
    Keep quiet, i know that I should
    Keep those feelings behind closed doors

    My heart quickens
    At the thought of losing you
    My blood thickens
    What can I do?

    I really hope we can be friends
    Can’t you see?
    Before the bitter end
    Of you or me

    Jesus Christ, Tripoli
    Boo, Limousine
    Usually so beautiful
    But in that context so obscene

    I need to shut the fuck up
    So as not to alienate you
    But this is something
    I find really hard to do

    The floodgates are open
    Please don’t get washed away
    I love you so much
    I want you to stay

  • Fallen Leaves

    The fallen leaves and tears
    That have come at this time of year
    Have been beautiful, though some painful
    They speak of change, I hold them near

    I told you that I’d go away
    Not tomorrow or next week, but today
    Not forever, only for a while and in physical form
    But it seems now that it is you who couldn’t stay

    I hung on every word you said
    Sent you something on which to rest your head
    When you can’t sleep (often) and all seems bleak
    I worry when I don’t hear from you that you’re dead

    You want to make sure I can survive
    Without you, and that in fact I thrive
    Sadness hangs in a haze during this settling phase
    And yet I continue to be alive

    When will I see you again?
    Can I still call you my friend?
    I care about you, I love you still
    And I know that this will never end.

  • Miłość Jest Trudna

    Sap through the leaves of these ever-lasting trees
    My love for you floats on the soft cool breeze
    It floats far, it floats near, it dances through the trees
    And brings me down upon my bruised knees

    I’m down here for you, my heart cut in two
    One piece for me, and another for you
    Mine infused red, but yours growing blue
    It’s oxygen-starved, with its pallid pale hue

    How did I get here, and what do I fear?
    My knees hurt, my posture slumps and my eyes fill with tears
    I know you’ll never love me back, it’s futile being here
    These are the truths that taunt me, their veracity grows clear

    But still I kneel down, and here I will stay
    My heart yearns and my stomach churns for yet another day
    She’s foolish and lives in a fantasy land, I hear everyone say
    But perhaps one day you’ll look at me and my devotion will hold sway

    Are you okay tonight, or are you filled with fright?
    Was it me? Now I see, that I’ve added to your plight
    I told you I could be intense, it seems that forewarning was right
    So I’ll hold myself back from flooding you with love, I’ll do this with all of my might

  • Limerence

    You’re so apathetic
    Towards me
    I feel pathetic
    Eventually you’ll message
    And be so apologetic

    Please don’t apologise I’ll say
    Just refrain
    And I’ll smile
    And you’ll nod
    And I won’t tell you
    That I’ve been going slowly insane

  • Astrophysicist Implosion Blues

    Empty black hole
    Gaping hole for a soul
    Sucks you in, crushes you down
    Don’t make a noise, don’t make a sound
    Empty black hole

    Empty black hole
    Gaping hole for a soul
    Can’t breathe, can’t scream
    Can’t live, can’t dream
    Empty black hole

    Empty black hole
    Gaping hole for a soul
    Can’t think, all is bleak
    I must die, I’m a freak
    Empty black hole

  • I Let You

    I can’t believe you did this to me
    I can’t believe I let you
    10 years gone by, I hope I die
    Maybe then I’ll relent and forget you.

  • Misplaced

    I miss you
    Maybe this is misplaced
    Perhaps it is not you that I miss
    But him

    Who is he, you ask
    My father of course
    Who else could it be
    But him

    The gaping black hole that swallowed me whole 21 years ago
    The sheer density of which sucked me in and spat me out as a mere shadow of my former self
    I used to smile as a child and really mean it
    I used to feel safe

    I feel worried that writing these words will send me into a spiral
    That I will lose my mind all over again
    Magical thinking
    Is a terrible thing

    I reassure myself that the tingling in my fingers will go away if I don’t tend to it
    That it is only anxiety
    I wiggle my fingers to show myself
    That my mind has not once more trapped myself within it and held me hostage

    The split second before they move
    I hold my breath
    Waiting to see
    If madness has once more taken hold

    So you see
    I probably miss him and not you
    But I can never know
    As my body and mind will not let me go there

    They protect me fiercely, crippling me at the same time
    This is the only way they know how
    Maybe one day I will learn to be safely connected
    With this dark void within me, from which my guardians have for all these years protected

    My chest hurts.

  • Nothingness

    Emptiness
    Hollow chest
    Only excess
    To fill the nothingness

  • Toxic

    I may not understand quantum mechanics
    But I do know this
    I hate you
    Whether you observe me or not
    I still hate you

    Unobserved, I can both love you and hate you simultaneously
    But lay your eyes on me and I must choose one
    And it will always be hate

    Schrödinger’s love died in the box I’m afraid
    The box you sealed and left it in there to die with nothing but toxic air to breathe
    What a relief when it was gone

    Go fuck yourself in the corner of my mind that I have to push you into to survive

  • I Miss You

    I miss you

    Is it strange that I miss you, you who knew me only briefly several years ago?

    Perhaps it is, but it’s true and my feelings are the only things I know to be real in this life

    Everyone disappears, everything changes, the only constant is that

    I miss you

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