When, if ever, will you return?
Without you my soul burns
I don’t like the heat
Everyone leaves eventually
Some sooner than others
To strive for eternal love equals defeat
I have unhealthy attachments
Some too intense, others lacking
Is there a middle in which to meet?
Who am I referring to?
Myself? Another? An ex? My father?
Isolation so profound, I can’t speak
Sitting there one night
I decided to eat everything in sight
I hated myself long before this
So I decided to fill myself literally with shit
It felt good to fuck myself up
And so it became a habit that stuck
A slow painful death was what I deserved
According to the self-talk that I constantly heard
I wondered if I might bring on a heart attack
And that this would be a blessing in fact
No desire to live, hope draining as if in a sieve
I had nothing left to give
So consume I did, to excess, over and over
I became adept at being a self-loather
Hurting myself was better than being hurt by another
As that hurt was too painful from which to recover
Mind ensnared by you all this time
Heart I shared with you, you crushed, though it’s mine
Fuck off over there in the corner you swine
Everything you said to me a lie, still I shine
I shine because I’m rid of you
I shine because you’re gone
I shine because I’ve stamped you out
Though it made me feel so wrong
I shine because we never speak
I shine because that’s it!
I shine because we’ll never meet
Stay gone, you piece of shit
