I may not understand quantum mechanics
But I do know this
I hate you
Whether you observe me or not
I still hate you
Unobserved, I can both love you and hate you simultaneously
But lay your eyes on me and I must choose one
And it will always be hate
Schrödinger’s love died in the box I’m afraid
The box you sealed and left it in there to die with nothing but toxic air to breathe
What a relief when it was gone
Go fuck yourself in the corner of my mind that I have to push you into to survive
There is a place that only I know
In the depths of my mind, aglow
I can go there when frightened
And emerge, enlightened
From the peace that I find when I go
So what is it like, this haven, you ask
It’s a forest of trees under whose shade I bask
With a stream running through it
And and a row of shiny toilets upon which you can sit
If the need arises
It is sunny but shaded
Somewhat mystically aged
Flowers hugging the trees
No-one else around, just me
There is a wisdom beyond which you can imagine
I have a pillow and a blanket
But lie upon the grass, anchored
The grass is cool to the touch
The blanket just warm enough
The stream babbles and birds sing in the sky
So when frantic I feel
I abandon the real
And retreat inward
Hearing the word
“Beautiful” repeat.
Beautiful.
Stepping from the bright to dark
From glaring sun to rain
I felt a brain and body spark
Alleviate the pain
Dreaming of mind sinking
In another realm
It shocked me into thinking
And led to overwhelm
It spoke my name softly
But persistently too
I listened hard, I listened fast
And so it grew and grew
But somewhere between sleep and wake
My senses came to
I let go of that stabbing ache
And sanity shone through.
