Souls entwined by similar minds

“Trees Forest” by Sebastian Unrau/ CC0 1.0

Category: Mental Illness

  • EMDR

    An empty space filled with pillars
    Dark and tall, ashen grey
    I’ve been there once before, I’ve visited this place
    I was horrified by what I saw, barren land of shame, guilt and disgrace

    There lived a girl there, small and cowering
    Covering her face and head with hands, stone pillars towering
    She hid behind one, and shook with fear
    As the malevolent character grew ever near

    Who is the malevolent one, smiling sinisterly?
    Searching for the small girl, and carrying a machete
    It turns out they are me, both different parts
    Part of my mind wants to kill the other, and to stab me in the heart.

    I discovered them some time ago, are they still there?
    I think they are, but I’m not consciously aware
    If I delve back into the depths of my mind
    I’m sure they’ll be there, quite easy to find

    Who is lurking in the corners of your mind?

  • Nothingness

    Emptiness
    Hollow chest
    Only excess
    To fill the nothingness

  • Darkness Within

    There’s a darkness within me
    Even when I’m okay, I feel it bubbling away
    In the depths of me

    When will it resurface?
    It’s there, though I may seem not to care
    I’m scared of those feelings, they’re curses

    Like ever-expanding black hallways in the Navidson house,
    A gutteral growl, a foreboding sound
    Echoes from the chambers of my soul

    I could get lost in there
    No way back, tether snapped
    I fear it will be my inevitable demise

  • Over-familiarity

    Over-familiarity;
    A term I used clinically
    But lately I am developing some clarity
    That it relates to… me

    And how I relate to others

    I am driven somehow
    To reach out
    and out
    and out
    To people who I don’t deeply know now

    Why is this?

    We knew each other in the past
    And I wished that our knowing would last
    Extend to the present
    And the future
    Perhaps eternity
    So I continue this farce

    But at what cost?

    I keep you tethered
    Though our relationship is weathered
    As is my dignity
    And your patience
    And the illusion of a friendship
    That would naturally be severed

    If I let it die a natural death.

  • A Shot in the Dark

    A shot in the dark
    Though I know that it’s wrong
    A shot in the dark
    Will come before long

    A shot in the dark
    Though I know it’s insane
    A shot in the dark
    Has tarnished my name

    A shot in the dark
    Will I ever relent?
    A shot in the dark
    It’s time to repent

    A shot in the dark
    Not the last word I spoke
    A shot in the dark
    Once more I’m a joke.

  • Self-loathing

    Sitting there one night
    I decided to eat everything in sight
    I hated myself long before this
    So I decided to fill myself literally with shit

    It felt good to fuck myself up
    And so it became a habit that stuck
    A slow painful death was what I deserved
    According to the self-talk that I constantly heard

    I wondered if I might bring on a heart attack
    And that this would be a blessing in fact
    No desire to live, hope draining as if in a sieve
    I had nothing left to give

    So consume I did, to excess, over and over
    I became adept at being a self-loather
    Hurting myself was better than being hurt by another
    As that hurt was too painful from which to recover

  • All Logic Is Damned

    Green light spinning round and round
    Rain sounds playing, what a sound, what a sound
    In my head the knife is calling
    Will I make it to the morning?
    We’ll have to see, as you see all logic is damned.

  • I Guess I Could Do Worse

    Hey
    How’s it going?

    Sorry to be annoying
    Just trying to fill a void

    It runs deep within me
    Don’t be annoyed

    If you felt this way
    I’d help you too
    But you don’t, it’s me
    I’m a big piece of poo

  • Unforgiving

    If moods are like the weather
    And my favourite weather is rain
    I hope it rains forever
    To keep away the pain

    The pain of living life
    Beats me down, hottest sun
    It’s truly unforgiving
    Please hand me a gun

  • Fear of Living

    So fragile and thin
    It’s buried within
    I’ll try to explain it
    But where to begin

    I first lost my mind
    When I was only a child
    It scared me, prepared me
    For a life of denial

    Denial of what?
    Stomach tied up in knots
    As I live full of fear
    Of eventual brain rot

    See I was never quite there
    And maybe life is unfair
    Still I’ll try, though I cry
    At my mind I still tear

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