Themes Overview
Mental Illness
Mental illness is something that I have struggled with since the age of 13. I developed severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) following the death of my father when I was 12. I had treatment under CAMHS and once I was able to start engaging with it, I eventually began to recover – I saw that life could be good again.
Recovery was not easy, and since then I have had exacerbations in my OCD symptoms at times, along with some other intense anxiety disorders (Social Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder), the development of Bipolar Affective Disorder II (Type 2) which has left me in the darkest places at times, and over the past 6 years I have struggled with Binge Eating Disorder for which I am currently receiving treatment.
Life is HARD. I talk about my struggles with mental illness in a lot of my poems as sometimes I look back and wonder how I am still here, and I must try to understand myself and my experiences better – I do this partially through writing and so some of my poems express a lot of suffering and pain.
However, to those who are also struggling, I would like to also emphasise that as bad as things may get, emotions and states of mind do not last forever; they are transient and there WILL be better times. Recovery is possible. Even when it doesn’t seem like it, it is. I have lived through it, and have seen it many times throughout my time working as a Mental Health Nurse.
I know I am likely to relapse again in the future, and when in a dark place it is hard to remember, but I must try to recall in those times that I have weathered the storm before, and I can do it again. As difficult as this may be. You all can too <3 Please always try to hold on to hope <3 If anyone wishes to discuss any difficulties with their mental health and needs someone to listen, please feel free to message me.
Love
Love is something that can help us when in the depths of despair. For me, it is something that makes life worth living. Such an intense emotion, and an abstract concept to discuss, I will not try to expand on it here – just know that it has inspired my poetry often, and make what you will of it in my writing!
Loss
Loss is something that I experienced early in life. It had a devastating impact on me at the time, as I have described briefly above, and I believe it continues to affect my mental wellbeing as I have unresolved grief from the loss of my father many years ago.
Since then, I have experienced the loss of several relationships in the form of break-ups which have been very difficult to process, perhaps subconsciously echoing notes of the loss of my father, which intensified my feelings at the time. Psychologists have helped me to make sense of this.
As yet, I have not yet been able to write about the loss of my father for several reasons, but you will find themes of loss of romantic relationships dotted throughout my writing, as these experiences have had a big impact on me at various points in my life.
Recovery
Recovery from mental illness is a process I have been through many times, as relapses have come and I have worked hard to overcome them. I would not have been able to do this without professional help from mental health professionals, and the love and support from my family and friends for which I am eternally grateful. The feeling of coming back into myself and my head after a period of mental absence is overwhelming and joyful, an experience I have written about as it has been so profound for me. Please take hope from this, and remember that recovery is possible even when everything appears to be dark and bleak <3
Summary
- Mental Health: Break the stigma, explore the darker side of the human psyche and experiences, examine the difficulty of existence.
- Love: Explore the complexities of this universal emotion and the different forms that it takes.
- Loss: Consider this inevitable experience that we all will have sooner or later in life, and the impact that this can have on us as people.
- Recovery: Experience resilience and find inspiration to carry on when things are difficult. Know that it is possible, no matter how impossible it seems.
